I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
