direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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