we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
