Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
