So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
