so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
