you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
