sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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