So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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