my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she told me i tasted like america
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
