if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Enjoy the penises
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize