Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
