Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
