Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We're using joints as your birthday candles
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
