If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering