i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
