New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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