How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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