i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
