I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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