I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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