People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
