sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
