Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
