How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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