Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
