did you get engaged???
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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