I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this beer tastes like vomit already
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
