Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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