U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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