you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
