quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
