Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
