just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
