Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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