she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Enjoy the penises
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
