I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
