Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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