she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
