Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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