haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
