yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
