Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't deserve a penis
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
