The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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