i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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