And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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