Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
