Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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