You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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