Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
