Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
being pregnant is like rehab
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
