Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
