Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
3 2 1 whiskey
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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