ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
