I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
