you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
