The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it penis luge time yet?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize