Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
