as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
