Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
