I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
