My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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