i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
